-He sick, me bring him homework! You don't hurt me! - spoke Naruto in a funny way.
-Oi leave Naru alone! I wouldn't let my saviour get hurt!- Gaara smiled at him- thanks to you, I...
-You kissed her?!- Naruto looked at Gaara with a horny face.
-You horny pervert! No! We are on a stage of holding hands.- Gaara did a serious face and everyone laughed (apart from serious people like Neji and Shikamaru).
-OK let's leave his private matters alone, because he might get offended...-Uncle insect, I mean Shino, looked at everyone from above in attempt of calming them down.
Even without Sasuke fun atmosphere stayed, actually he was one of the most serious guys and only Naruto could use a secret magic, that could make him laugh. But he had to support black witch during sickness, because as Naruto said, marriage sacrament says "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health..." and that's why he can't leave Sasuke...of course everyone laughed at those words...but Naruto didn't feel like laughing, because in some way he offended his friend, beside teachers looked strangely at him.
He survived in a nice atmosphere, in this place called school ,till Friday afternoon. Sun shone brightly and it was melting the snow. Slowly and in a good mood he went to the house of the lawyers...to his black witch, a friend and a person that he could understand without words...Sasuke, It's hard to believe that enemies, became best friends...but miracles do happen.
A loud knock echoed in Uchiha's house.
-O! Good afternoon Naruto.- Mikoto opened the doors, Sasuke's mother.
-Good afternoon - Uzumaki went inside after Mikoto moved aside and let him in. He smelled a nice smell coming from the kitchen.- I brought textbooks for Sasuke.
-He's in his room...I think he's asleep. But wake him up.-Mikoto smiled warmly.
-OK Mrs.Uchiha.- Naruto with a big smile ran to Sasuke's room.
He walked on his toes towards his bed...it seems like he really is asleep. Naruto for a joke lay in his bed next to him.
-Mmmm...honey...you should wake up.- he purred quietly.
-Five minutes daddy.
-I'm not your brother.- shouted Naruto and he lifted his blanket.
-Hmmm...- Sasuke opened his eyes lazily , then he noticed Uzumaki in his bed making a cute face - Wooow! Get away from my bed!
-Hey...aren't you my friend?!
-Friend is a friend, but I don't want to have gay in my bed...
-I'm offended - Naruto stood up and turned around.
-At least you won't be hugging me.
-You know what , witch, I'm so nice to you and I brought you textbooks, and you say such stuff to me?! It hurts my heart...
-Stop pretending to be Juliet ok...- Sasuke wanted to carry on talking but he got interrupted,
-AHH BE MY ROMEO!!!
-What's wrong with you, idiot? Ah...ah...
-Something got in your eye?
-N-no idiot, but...ah...ahhh
-Uuu...better stay in bed because black witch might become a black slipper...-Naruto smiled to his friend.- I'm putting some textbooks with lessons material written down. You can give back the textbooks once you're done...I mean till Sunday.
-What if I won't be done by Sunday? I'm sick after all...- Sasuke did a face of a dying woman.
-It can't happen. Now I'm leaving you, so you can rest...you need silence after all and not my shouting...
After a short conversation Naru left Uchiha's house. He wanted his friend to get well as soon as possible.
While Sasuke was in his bed for a bit longer, then he went downstairs to eat some food and he checked textbooks in the evening.
-Maths...Japanese...English...-he said to himself. In one moment he stopped.- I don't know this textbook...- he opened a notebook.- diary...- he read out loud.-property of: Naruto Uzumaki - he opened his eyes widely and he put the diary away. He grabbed his phone and he wanted to call Naruto, but curiosity was stronger. Honestly he knew little about Naruto, and diary can tell him more than his owner. He got comfortable in his bed with diary in his hands. He was fighting his thoughts, whether open it or not, till he finally opened it again. He scanned pages, it seemed that Naruto rarely wrote dates by his notes...Uchiha went back to the first page. First note:
I'm changing a fucking school again. I hate everyone...everyone. I wish I wouldn't have known them.Idiots...
Sometimes I'm losing my will to live...anyway not like anyone would miss me...I want to die...I got no one who would even mention my existence...unless someone would feel like laughing at me.
I'm a toy for others to play with. I got no more strength to cry. I want to talk to someone. I want to be hugged...I just want to feel warmth of another person(...)
Sasuke stopped for a moment. Naruto must had wrote it in his first year of high school when he was like 11 years old. He was flipping pages and he stopped again.
(...) -Eh...it used to worry me before, but I at least know now that no porn with naked women turns me on. I even got used to it...now I even like that things are the way they are.
- Lately I have read a yaoi...and...uhm...I liked it.
-I remember when I suddenly noticed that I'm looking at guys, I felt disgusted with myself, I was scared of reaction of other people...I'm still afraid. I wouldn't want anyone from my class to find out. The hell would begin again...
-Today I have been called Emo-lover...they beat me up again. I skipped the last 3 lessons, I went where I always did, by the lake.
-I cut myself again...it still hurts...
"Wait a minute...he cuts himself?! That idiot..."- Sasuke was somehow angry...he didn't know why himself. He flipped few pages and he began to read.
(...) Oh damn...so embarrassing. If not for that wire...I ruined everything.
Jim turned out to be nice...but...fuck. I had to trip over that stupid wire and fall on him...Aaaaa why it's only happening to me...he said everything was all right...he even laughed.
Maybe it's not as bad as I thought it is. He even invited me over to his house...We will play some computer games...I hope that later he won't bully me...I want a friend so badly. Anyway they don't like him much either because he takes drugs. I don't mind though...he's cool...
Eh...when I think about it thanks to that wire I got my first kiss with a guy. I like my gayness even more. Luckily we were alone in that room and no one saw that kiss...
"Jim? Well he had interesting accidents..." Sasuke skipped some chunk of text and he read the bottom part.
He killed himself because of me...it's my fault...mine...if I didn't wish to have a friend he would have lived...someone died because of me again. I couldn't do anything about it. It would have been better if I was never born.
Everyone noticed that we are friends, and then they found out that I'm gay and they began to bully him...If I only didn't exist...he had to overdose...had to?! He did that because of me. He wouldn't do it if I only didn't exist. Life taught me that I'm hurting everyone around. I don't deserve to live...I don't deserve friendship...I deserve nothing.
My arms hurt, my stomach, my thighs...I'm covered in blood. But I couldn't do it...I just couldn't...I couldn't kill myself...I hate myself (...)
Sasuke was terrified. Naruto cut himself...that cold look in his eyes was caused by death that fallowed him. Sasuke's chest hurt as he read the next notes. But with every note Naruto showed less feelings...he was more shut in.
Today is a first day of new school. Sport's class. It's only a matter of time before they find out, and they will bully me and treat me like a dog. What am I anyway? A dog...I'm not worth anything. But whatever. I don't care about them. I'm a master of my life and they can't butt in.
Now Sasuke was reading moments from Naruto's life, when he began thinking that people around him are cool. Next note described our fight, then the next day, the day after that, the days when we had to clean different rooms.
(...) he said "I'm sorry", "thank you". It seems like I got myself a friend. I don't know if he was honest...but...ah...I think I can risk one more time...and I will wait to see what happens next.
In the storehouse I found a picture of him. When he was a little boy from grade school. And he wanted to take it away from me...and...how to describe it...he jumped on me like a beast!
OK maybe I'm exaggerating a little, he grabbed my hip and he pushed his body against mine so that I wouldn't be able to jump, because I was moving a lot. The worst part is that I just noticed that he's a good person, and I already started blushing when he touches me.
I like his eyes...they are so dark and deep. They have some magic within that deep darkness. I never looked at his eyes properly, and now I regret...they are amazing...
I want to have eyes like his!!!
"He likes my eyes!" - Sasuke reached for a mirror that was next to his bed, on a little cabinet. He was looking at his eyes for a moment. Then he put the mirror away. He went back to reading. He skipped some notes so he could read the more recent ones.
Darn! When I slept I dreamed about him again. As if thinking about him wasn't enough, I have dreams too. More and more frequently. And not just any dreams! Kamasutra is nothing compared to them! But forget about them Naruto...forget!
Oh damn I just can't. I keep going back to the moment when we were drying in my bathroom. If I could only throw myself on him...
Sasuke started to become aware, that his friend wasn't writing about just any guy, he was writing about him. He became more red as he carried on reading.
...but I can't because he's my friend. One only, true best friend. One mistake and I might lose him. I almost got a heart attack when he found out, that I'm gay.
It turned out that he's not gay too, and I can't just walk up to him and say "I love you". He would hate me. I don't want that. I can't kiss him, so I want to at least look at him. I keep recalling the bathroom scene...he has amazing body.
I love him!!! I love him!!! I would give up my life for him!
I wish I could tell him that.
One day I would want to wake up while we are hugging, and smell his hair...I would want to look him in the eyes...and hear "Good morning sweetheart".
But it's only a dream.
Well...I can't destroy friendship with my stupidity, I can only dream about being in his arms...I'm sure it would look great...my skinny posture and his muscled body...I'm like an uke.
...but it's only a dream...if he would hear about this he would hate me, he would tell everyone, and this nice atmosphere would pop like a bubble.
PS. Darn he has sexy ass.
PSPS: I would like to go out with him...
PSPSPS: Will he ever kiss me...
I'm crazy in love
Sasuke became red like a brick, he put away Naruto's diary filled with his thoughts and memories. Sasuke was in shock. He kept analysing in his head, about what he just read, it must from fever or it must be a dream. It can't be real...
In the morning his fever dropped, and he read the diary again...it wasn't a dream after all.
His head was filled only with one thought...only one person. When he was copying the lessons from Naruto's textbooks, he couldn't focus. He kept thinking about Naruto. What he read caused huge shock. He didn't feel disgust, he didn't feel fear. He didn't know himself what he felt. Everything seemed too complicated for him.
Sunday afternoon.
Sasuke was on his way to Uzumaki's house. He was slowly walking and thinking about what he should tell Naruto...he thought about it a lot. How should he speak to him? Pretend that nothing happened, that he didn't read it? Or maybe tell him the truth? Or maybe he shouldn't give him back his diary? Sasuke was scared to look Naruto in the eyes after all that he has read. He didn't want to hurt him...after reading about his past he found out about the pain that his parents, teachers and other people caused...Sasuke didn't know what to do, he thought about it whole night...and nothing? No answer in his head. The thoughts that were only commenting, were no help.
Before he realised he was in front of his friend's house.
He knocked. Uzumaki's mom opened the doors. Lately she was home a lot. He heard his heart beat like crazy...he was stressed alot.
He stood in front of Naruto's room. What will he tell him? He pulled the door-handle...he pushed the doors...
-Hi Sasu! Are you feeling better? - he greeted him with a smile.
-Y-yes. I brought your textbooks.
-Ah, that's good. Sit.- Naruto pointed on his bed.- You know...did I leave a diary at your room by any chance? - now Sasuke's heart beat even faster. He couldn't grasp air. He hoped that Naruto, is only just talking without expecting a reply.- because you know...I lately couldn't find it anywhere...and I don't know if it's possible that I left it at your house, or if I lost it elsewhere. Eh. It wouldn't be nice if someone would read it. It would destroy me. It would be a catastrophe!- Naruto took the textbooks from the quiet Sasuke. Darn I'm really worried. I'm so stupid for signing it. If someone normal finds it then he will give it back without reading it, but if some idiot will read it then world war will break out! I would have to move out again. Hey. Why are you so quiet? Are you not well? Maybe I will bring you some water! You're so pale.- Naruto looked at him with his cheerful eyes.
-Naruto...-Sasuke looked him in the eyes, Uzumaki was worried when he saw his serious face.
-Naruto...I have...read your diary.- he passed him the diary with a sorry face. Naruto was like paralysed he only stared at Sasuke. He got a bit pale.- Forgive me Naru...- Naruto didn't reply. He sat where he stood and covered his eyes with his hands.
-How...how could you?- he finally spoke.- why aren't you answering me! Are you feeling disgusted? I'm sorry...but I didn't want to destroy our friendship. I didn't want to destroy it....like always. Uhhh.YOU! You had to...tell me how much you hate me!
-Naruto...-Sasuke looked at him.
-Am I disgusting to you now? Huh? Am I? You can just tell me! - Uzumaki stood up and he raised his voice.- Tell me! What are you feeling?! Hate! Disgust! Disbelief! I hid everything just to have a friend...and now how can I look you in the eyes!!!
-Naruto!!!!
-Stop it! What were you thinking...no what was I thinking!!! I'm an idiot!!!
-NARUTO!!! You moron...-Sasuke walked up to Naruto and slapped him in the face.
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