Sunday, 19 June 2016

Life is painful - Chapter 23

INCOMING CALL
Naru ;*

Should I pick up?

No...I'm not ready!

I sat and I blindly looked at the vibrating phone.

Come on hang up! Hang up!

Suddenly the phone stopped vibrating. I sighed with relief.
I looked at the display but...

...why does it looked as if I picked up the call?

I looked at my hand - I accidentally pressed an OK button.

Terrified I pressed the phone against my ear.

-Sasuke...are you there? Sasuke? - I heard Naruto's voice.
-I'm here...- I finally managed to say something
-Aaa...OK. Have you got spare time?
-Speak.- I said
-So...I would want to tell you some things...- he said quietly.
-I'm listening.- I whispered.
I sat on a swing with my legs up. I covered my face with my left hand, while leaning an elbow against my knee. I held phone with my right hand. My mind felt empty.
I would never imagine a situation, in which he would want to speak alone with me...
I don't know why but I felt like a catastrophe is about to happen. As if I did something very bad and I was waiting for a verdict from a judge.
-First thing...I know that you told me to forget but...I'm sorry again about yesterday...I feel really stupid...I was very angry and I shouldn't have even touched my motorbike.
-It's OK, happens...
-You're right, but it shouldn't. It keeps sitting on my mind...will you accept my apology?- he asked quietly.
-Yes, I accept.- I responded quickly so he wouldn't worry.
-Yay, thank you.- he sighed with relief.- I feel better knowing that you do.
-Right...what's the second thing?
-Secondly...Do you know about Baking day?
-I do.
-I wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind...greeting guests with me and showing them around. Our "festival" is quite popular in the area and different schools will visit us. It's my responsibility to greet them and show them where is what , and to say few words about it. I mean...only if you want to - then it would be our responsibility.
-You know...- I began.
-It would be enough if you're by my side. Alone...it feels a bit weird.- he laughed.- Of course we wouldn't do it for nothing. Kakashi-sensei told me to find someone and we will both get points for behaviour and positive comments, because we helped in organizing a school event.

It would be enough if I'm by his side...it sounded great from his lips.
His voice was calm and really pleasant...it kind of made me sleepy too.
In comparison to the loud and noisy version of Naruto, I prefer this one.

-Yes, I understand...I can accompany you.- I said after a moment.
-Yes?! Thank you! - he shouted.- I will bring all the necessary papers to school, if you want we can share responsibility for talking to guests. Ah and we have to dress rather elegant. It doesn't have to be a suit, but some nice shirt or something.
-Good, we can talk about everything at school. What's the third thing?
-Eeee...third? Em...How are you?- he asked innocently.
-How am I? Is that a third thing you wanted to talk about?- I asked surprised.
-No,no...I just...wanted to talk.
-With me? About what?
-About everything...Sasuke are you feeling unwell? Did something happen?
-No, why?- I asked.
-Because you sound...weird. So quiet. Are you crying?
-No...-  I replied surprised.
-Emm...OK, I won't push on you. I know that it's a bit late, almost 8 pm but...Can I come over to you? To talk?

I raised my head.

HIM? COME TO ME?

-Sasuke?
-You can.- I said without thinking and I covered my lips.

Oh God, what did I say?!

-Really?!
-Emmm...If you...want...
-A lot! Do you want something?
I got stiff
-Wa-want?

Did he mean...

-Yea I don't know, some cookies or other things, to make life sweeter?- he laughed.

Baka Sasuke! Baka! Not only Baka, but perverted too!

-Emm...you know...if you want something you can buy it for yourself...I don't have any special demands.
-OK. Then 5 minutes and I'm there...Are you sure that I can come over?- he said randomly.
-Yea...you know, I'm sitting outside right now, because my brother is home with his friend but we can go to my-

NO! NOT MY ROOM! THERE'S A BED!
...
NO!!! PERVERTED SASUKE!

-Ey, won't I be a bother?- he asked.
-No, no...What do you want to drink?- I asked embarrassed by my erotic way of thinking.
-We can sit outside! I don't know...get us whatever you want, and I will buy us whatever I want, OK?
-OK...
-Then I will be there soon. Cya.- he said and hang up.
-Cya...- I said still in shock.

I stood up and I rushed to the kitchen.

-And what?- asked Deidera, when I entered the living room.
-Ah that...no not..-Why are you lying on him?- i asked when I saw Deidera lying with his back on Itachi's stomach...who slept?!- What's wrong with him?
-2 beers and human falls asleep.- he laughed.- He needs to get trained. I'm lying because he's comfortable to lay on. Will that Naru come over?
-Yea he will...to talk. Ey, by the way...where are my parents?- I asked.
-Itachi said something that your father has some work at the office...anyway he will be back in a morning. And your mom stayed over at your aunt's place.- he said.
-OK. We will be outside if you would want something then feel like at home.- I said while going towards the kitchen.
-Why won't you both come inside?- he shouted from the living room.
I looked at him.
-Better not.- I said with a "dark" face.
Deidera looked at me while stepping on Itachi, who just fell from the sofa. He ran to me excited.
-Are you into him?- he said, while taking one cookie from a bowl, which was on a table.
When I heard that I trembled.
-What kind of question is that? Do you think I'm gay? - I pretended to feel offended.
Deidera looked at me.
-I'm sorry, I didn't meant to...so it's nothing like that, right? Normal friendship like me and Itachi?- he kept asking while reaching for another cookie.

I turned around, and I got myself a cup.
-Why do you suspect me?- I asked without looking at him.-What do you think - which cup will he like? He is a very colourful and cheerful person..- I asked while holding two cups in my hands.
-Why do I suspect you? That's an example.- he replied.
-What?
-You're asking which cup will he like.
-So what? I just want him to have fun and feel good around me, that's all.
-Feel good around me...-he repeated quietly - Left.- he replied soon after, and he nodded at my left hand ,in which I held a colourful cup with some smiling cartoons or whatever.
Without saying anything I put a cup chosen by Deidera next to my cup...simple and black cup...
I reached for a hot chocolate powder, and I added 3 spoons each to both of them.

Suddenly the meaning of Deidera's words reached me.

I put the spoon away and I leaned on a counter-top with my arms.
-Dei...can I tell you something? But as a secret?
Deidera came up to me ,and he sat on a counter-top on which I was leaning on.
-Speak.- he said while holding a cookie in his hand.
I looked at him.
-But you won't tell-
-I won't tell Itachi. I won't tell anyone.- he said.
I turned around to him.
-Naruto...I'm into him, I like him- I said a little embarrassed.

 I looked at him a little worried. Deidera was looking at me, but I couldn't read anything from his expression. He looked neutral. 
-And what?- he asked with a normal tone.
-What what?- I asked surprised.
-What will you do about it?
-Nothing. What can I do?
-Is he gay?- he asked.
-...No. But I'm not either.
-You are.
-I'm not.- I denied.
-You are.
-I'm not!
-You are.
-I'm not!!!!- I shouted while hitting the counter-top with my fist. I looked at him with anger in my eyes. Deidera didn't seem to be bothered by it at all.

I felt like hitting him but...I calmed down.

I relaxed my fists.
-I'm so-
-When you get smarter, we can talk.- he said emotionless and he bit a cookie. He jumped off the counter-top and he went to a living room, he sat on a sofa again. He raised the volume on TV, while ignoring me and everything around.

I looked at the kettle, in which the water was heating.

"When you get smarter, we can talk"...

I heard the doorbell.
I looked at Deidera. He haven't turned around.
I walked up to the doors. I opened them. I saw Naruto's blonde fuzzy hair.
-Hello!- he shouted with a smile.
-Hey...- I said while forcing a smile on my face.
The boy put his hands forwards ,in which he held plastic bags with some sweets.
-I bought some things, which I like and some new ones. We can be food testers.- he laughed- Can you unpack them?
-Yes, please come in.- I let him in.
-Wooow...such a nice chandelier!- he shouted surprised while looking up.
I just smiled and I entered the kitchen. Soon after Naruto joined me.
-You've got great house! The carpet on the stairs is cute. That golden frame on a mirror! That chandelier in a living room...like a dream.- he said fascinated.
-Dream? - I laughed while unpacking the the bags that Naruto brought - A piece of metal which gathers dust.
-How can you! Do you know how it's hard to get one now? Even by internet!- he said annoyed while waving his hands around.
-Why are you so fascinated?- I asked while adding hot water to our cups.
-Because I like such shiny stuff.- he said with a smile.
-Whatever...here you go.- I said while giving him a cup.
-Kyaaa! - he shouted.- Tokidoki!
-What -doki?- I asked surprised.
-Tokidoki! Those creatures on a cup. I love them! I have a hoodie with them and two bags!- he said happily while jumping.
-Aha...- I coughed after a moment, without understanding his behaviour.
-You see how well you chose a cup for me?- he laughed and...kissed me in a cheek.
I couldn't move. I felt a pleasant warmth.

I stood and looked at him like a picture.

-O, Hi!- Naruto suddenly shouted. I turned my head around, and I saw Deidera coming to us.
I felt scared, he had a serious look on his face. I felt like he wanted to tell Naruto, about what I told him in a kitchen today.
Deidera looked me in the eyes. Then he looked at Naruto. He was opening lips about to say something... 
I felt as if I will die from a heart attack.

-Hello, I'm Deidera.- he said with a smile and he shook Naruto's hand.
-Naruto. Naru for friends.- he said with a smile.
-Aaaa...you are that Naru.- he said and Naruto looked at him with a questioning face.
-We were about to leave.- I butted in.
-Bring there some pillows - that swing is fucking hard.- he laughed.
-OK, soon but first we will bring everything on the table outside.- I said and I pulled Naruto by his sleeve.
-I'm going, I'm going...will you come with us?- Naruto asked him.
I wanted to protest but Deidera smiled.
-Thanks, but I have to watch over the sleeping beauty.- he laughed and pointed at Itachi.
-Let's go.- I said and I pushed Naruto gently towards the exit.

I didn't want them to drag their conversation.
I don't know why, but after I confessed to Deidera...I don't trust him any more.

We went out on the terrace, with only socks on. We put our cups and a tray with sweets, on a little wooden table. I went back home to get some pillows and I quickly came back, so I wouldn't have any encounter with Deidera.

I sat on a left side of the swing, closer to the house, Naruto sat opposite to me, when I looked at him I also could see what is happening behind him on a street.
-We look like chicks that came for some gossips.- Naruto laughed.
I smiled.
-Who was that?- he asked, while raising his cup with hot chocolate, close to his lips.
-Who?- I asked, while putting a pillow under my chin.
-Deidera. Your friend?
-No...I mean mine too. But mainly Itachi's.
-Itachi was the one on the ground?- he laughed.
-Yes.- I also laughed.- It's my brother, but I swear that such situation rarely happens to him.
Naruto laughed. In a very cute way.
-Emm...tell me, will you be at school on Saturday?
-That Saturday?- I asked while grabbing a cup.
-No, next one.- after the trip.
-Sport's day?
-Yes.
-Yea I will...probably. Why?- I asked while taking a sip of chocolate.
-Because I will play in our team and it would be cool if...if you were there. Maybe you will bring us luck?
-Me?- I laughed.- It's better not to take me as a talisman.- but I will come to see how you will play.
Naruto smiled.
-Are you happy about the trip?- I asked.
-Very. Views are nice, I was there once.
-Yes? Tell me about it.- I said. I sat more comfortably by pulling one leg up, and leaning one hand on a bench swing support.
-Well that was about...4-5 years ago? Anyway imagine- every morning a sun greets you, which comes out from behind the mountains, and slowly lightens every little area. Do you know how amazing that looks? At the beginning as if...red lights become orange and then yellow.- he was telling me and I kept nodding every once in a while, so it wouldn't look like I'm not listening to him.
He spoke and I was analysing every part of his body, I was counting every part that I liked about him.

Let's begin from...his hair.
They are...how to describe that...funny? Because it's rare to see a pure blood Japanese person with such outstanding yellow hair. Unless they are dyed. But Naruto's hair aren't...or maybe? I will ask him later. Anyway I like the way he styles his hair. Such a cute mess.
Next...his eyes. Or not- his skin. Slightly tanned and very delicate, I had a chance to confirm that personally. 
Lips...also delicate. But I will admit that I would like to explore them "deeper".
His scars...in some way they are annoying. but now that I'm looking at his face gently lightened by street lamps, without them Naruto...wouldn't be Naruto. They make him more attractive.
Eyes...I could speak about them my whole life, and I wouldn't say enough. I would want to take them away and hide them in a box under my bed, so they would be only mine, mine, mine and no one else could see them. They are amazing! How can you have such crystal blue eyes?! No...they aren't blue...they are sapphire! So super ultra mega sapphire. Clear sky compared to his eyes, is ugly. Even heart of the ocean necklace, is worth nothing compared to his eyes! What about now, when every light from the street is reflecting in them like in a water...as if instead of eyes he had two balls filled with water, coloured with sapphire paint, and silver glitter was flowing inside them.
Magic!
His eyes are probably my favourite element, of Naruto.
But next...teeth. He could show them to me non-stop. Perfectly white, straight. Even if he doesn't have funny fangs like Kiba on the sides, I still love them.
Body...I can't say much about it, because I haven't seen him in underwear only, but if it's about his chest...it's so...delicate. Naruto overall is built in a "cute, sweet" way. I mean his delicate muscles.
And his arms I can hug them always, everywhere and at any time of the day and night. And those fingers...jeez I can even extol his fingers.
And that ass...mrrrr...
-And what do you think, would they like that idea?- asked Naruto suddenly, making me escape from my thoughts.
-Eeeee...- I didn't know what to say- Yes, I think so.- I said quickly, even if I had no idea what he talked about. I sat up straight and I relaxed my hands.- Should we try the sweets that you bought?- i asked and I pointed at the bowl with sweets which was on the table.
-YES!- he clapped his hands.
I reached for the bowl and I put it between us on a swing.
-You choose first.- I said to him. The boy covered his eyes with one hand. He put the other hand inside the bowl.
-And...I got it!- he shouted and he put his hand in the air- Chocolate bar with strawberry-mint filling.- he read on the package.
-Have you eaten it before?- I asked.
-Surprisingly not yet.- he laughed and he opened the bar, and he broke it in half.- Here you go.- he said with a smile. I took the piece from him and I put it in my mouth.
-It's OK.- I said after a moment.
-Bleh!- he shouted.
-Bleh?- I asked surprised.- It's good.
-No! Don't you feel the mint pop in your mouth? Bleee...they could mix that together, but no.- he said angrily while making me laugh at the same time.
-Then take a different one.
-No, I will wait till you are done eating.
-But I already finished eating.
-But not my piece.- he said and he came up to me on his knees.- Open your mouth.- he said while holding the piece of the bar in his hand, and he put another under my chin in case something would fall down.
I looked ta him surprised.
-Come on, open!- he laughed.- I haven't even licked it.
-It's not about that.- I smiled. I grabbed the hand in which he held the bar, and I helped him to insert it in my mouth. Accidentally I licked Naruto's fingers, and Naruto began to laugh.
-I'm sorry...- I said a bit embarrassed.
-It's fine, you got nice tongue.- he said cheerfully and I almost choked.- Are you OK?- he asked scared, after seeing how I'm choking.
-Yes, yes...sorry.- I said while calming my body down.

I got a nice tongue?

-OK, take the next one.- he said while leaning towards me. Without saying anything I took a chocolate bar from a bowl.
-Oh God...
-What?- he asked.
-A chocolate bar with rice-soya and berries and ginger.
Naruto looked at me as if I'm stupid.
-With...ginger?- he asked surprised. I nodded and grimaced.
-I won't eat it. You can try it.- I said while passing him the chocolate bar.
-OK...but if another weird one will pop up later you will try it first.- he said and I agreed. Naruto took the bar from me. He began to open it and I covered my eyes.
-No! Don't distract me!- he laughed, and when the chocolate bar ended up in his mouth I moaned disgusted.
-And what?- I asked while covering my face with the pillow.
-A bit...I don't know. A bit weird, but not impossible to eat.- he said and he passed me the bar- Take a bite.
-Bleh! Never!- I shouted and I covered my face even more.
-Come on eat it!- he laughed while trying to insert the bar in my mouth.
***

After a while the bowl became empty. In our stomachs there were prawn-chocolate crisps, banana chocolate bar with nori seaweed, chocolate with chilli and many other weird things.
Surprisingly none of us wanted to vomit.
And even if they were strange, most were rather good. I discovered that I like chocolate bars with mint.

Now we sat on a bench while holding our stomachs. I sat with my legs straight opposite to Naruto, and he had his legs on mine and he reached my thighs with his feet.

Naruto had weird socks on his feet, with teddies in a colours of rainbow. He kept moving his feet what distracted me- or should I say it made me laugh.
I held his feet for 15 minutes so he wouldn't move them around. When he didn't agree with me or he tried to talk back, I began to tickle him.

-Naruto...can I ask you something?- I asked.
-Yea.- he said with  a smile.
-Jiraya is your godfather, right?
-Yes.- he replied.
-Then where are your parents?- I asked and Naruto became a bit stiff.
-My parents? Ermm...my parents...eto...they are dead.- he said after a moment. I looked at him surprised.
-I'm sorry...
-It's OK. They died in a car accident when I was 6 years old. Since then I have been living with Jiraya.
-Were your parents Japanese?
-Are you referring to my hair colour?- he laughed.
-How did you know?- I asked surprised.
-A lot of people ask me about that.- he smiled.- I got hair after dad, he was half-Japanese and half-American.- he explained.
-Aha...and e-
-Eyes too. Although I heard that mine are a bit lighter.
-Yhym...I'm sorry, for asking but-
-Ask whatever you want!- he said with a smile.
-Heh, for now- I got no more questions.- I said with a smile.
-But I do! Can I?- he asked.
-If I could then you can too.
-Erm...why did you react that way, when you found out that I got a heart defect?- he asked me and I became shocked. I let go off his feet.
-I don't know...maybe I was afraid?
-Of what?
-You know...that. The awareness that something is wrong with you. That you could- - I rather not say the last words out loud, so it wouldn't come true.
-That I could die?- he said with a normal tone.
-Ey, don't say that...
-Come on, ey don't avoid topics about death. I'm used to the thought that I could die at any moment.- he said calmly, and I looked at him terrified listening to those stupid words.

-Ey, what time is it anyway?- he asked.
I looked at my phone.
-It's... 9:55 pm.- I read the time out loud.
-Already?! Damn, I have to get going.
-Why?- I asked surprised.
-Because you won't get enough sleep.
-Me not enough sleep? When was I ever sleepy?- I asked.
-Today for example.- he smiled.
-Heh...you're right.- I said a bit embarrassed.- Should I walk you home?- I asked when Naruto was putting on his shoes.
-Ah stop it, I'm not a girl.- he said while pretending to be offended.- Should I help you clean?- he asked.
I smiled to myself.
-You don't have to.- I said.

-Will you ever come again?- I asked quietly, as if I was hoping that he wouldn't hear me.
-Whenever you will want me to.- he said. I was surprised. Positively surprised.

Naruto grabbed my left arm and kissed my left cheek.
I became red, he did too.
-Then goodnight.
-Goodnight.- I said, while still being a bit red. I smiled gently and he smiled back. He jumped off the terrace and he waved at me, I waved back.

I was walking him home with my eyes, while holding tight a cup from which he drank.
From today I love Tokidoki too.
***

After cleaning everything from the terrace, and helping Deidera in an action called "Waking a whale called Itachi" < never try waking your brother by spilling a hot tea on him...It's not worth it> I sat on a swing for a moment. Deidera is treating me normally, but once in a while he sends me questioning look in his eyes, which are hard to identify for me. Maybe he is right about the fact, that I should be smarter?

I smoke a cigarette.
For the entire time while being with Naruto, I haven't smoked. I can be proud of myself.

I wrote an SMS to Kiba.

Tee, mother fucker, how was the biology?

Fucking great: got a B ;] you can be proud of your sweetheart

Then why aren't you saying anything, if everything went so well you dummy? Should I come to you tomorrow as usually?

Yeaaa. Hana called - your chihuahua is feeling better and better ;) Did you talk to your parents about the dog?

They aren't home for now. But you can say that I got advantage

How is that possible?

I'm counting on my brother's help

Aaaa...OK. What are you up to now?

I'm sitting outside. Not long ago Naruto was at my place

Are you fucking kidding me O_O Did you fight?

No, we talked.

Then you haven't fought? You haven't called each other names?

No

Suddenly I saw on display that Kiba is calling me.
I picked up.

-AM I SUPPOSE TO UNDERSTAND, THAT YOU HAVEN'T FOUGHT?!- he shouted as a hello.
-Fuck don't speak so loud...no we haven't. He came for a hot chocolate.
-You're kidding me.
-No.
-No fighting, no calling named? Fights over Sakura and other bullshit?
-Yes zeooo! Jezz you're so stupid.- I moaned.
-Woow, you're doing some progress.- he laughed.
-Yea, very funny.
-Then I'm going to wash myself and sleep...I'm sleepy god dammit!
-"You shouldn't have masturbated for whole night"- I quoted his words.
-Tee, that's my quote!- he felt offended, while laughing at the same time.
-Hahaha, OK. I'm going to wash too. See ya tomorrow.
-Ciao.
-Don't speak that way.- I said.
-I know, it sounds gay.- he laughed.- But Ino toughed me that.

I hang up.
I stepped on a cigarette, and I got off the swing, and I headed to the bathroom.
***

Soon after I was done with my conversation with Kiba, Deidera started to get going while explaining that in 10 minutes his last train will escape. We parted normally and he left.
Itachi went to wash himself.
I quickly cleaned the living room.

I sat on a sofa and I waited for my brother. I wanted to talk to him about the dog. He either will get out of the bathroom with his killing intent, or he will want to sleep or he will sit and listen.

After about 5 minutes Itachi came downstairs with towel on his head.

-What? Are you waiting for me?- he asked, while going towards the sofa and sitting on it.
-I have to talk to you.- I said with a serious voice. Itachi looked at me a bit...scared?
-OK...I'm listening.- he said.
-What would you say about a dog?- I said straight away. Brother looked at me surprised.
-A dog?- he asked.
-Yes.
-Can you be more specific? Because I can see that soon you will reveal your evil plan.- he asked while taking off the towel from his head, while putting his wet long hair on his back.
-Few days ago I found a puppy, in a horrible state.  I brought him together with a friend to a vet. They had to remove his eye and put a neck cone on him. In a week they can let him out, but the dog won't have a place to live at.
-And it's my mission to make the parents agree to keep him?- he asked.
I nodded.
-What race is it? Do you know?- he asked while playing with his hair.
-Bull terrier.
-Uuuu...not good.
-Why?
-If mom sees him she will be scared. But since he's little for now, maybe she will get used to him and won't notice him getting bigger...I like such dogs. Father generally doesn't like dogs, but if he would have to take one, I think that race would be his type.- he said.
I sat nervously waiting for his answer.
-Stop looking at me with those puppy eyes, I will talk to them.- he said.
-Thank you!- I shouted and I jumped on his neck.
-Ey OK, don't be like that, you will break my ribs. You're not little and light like you were as a kid.













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